Artistic swimming looked like fun. May joined a club in his hometown of Syracuse, N.Y., when he was 10 and, by 16, had moved to Northern California to train with a coach who believed in including men.

The sport consists of two events: team and duets. Though team was out of the question for men, some competitions offered a mixed duet category. At the U.S. national championships, May and his partner won gold five years in a row through 2003.

But with no Olympics, his future in the sport was limited.

May joined Cirque du Soleil in the early 2000s, returning to the pool when the international swimming federation dropped its women-only rule in 2015. After medaling in duets at two world championships, he retired again.

Years of advocating for diversity, banging his head against a wall, had not soured him. “I know it sounds like a cliche,” he says, ”but everything I have comes from artistic swimming.”

So, while working as a club coach, he continued employing his upbeat personality to lobby for men. U.S. swimmer Keana Hunter calls him “this big ball of energy and one of the coolest athletes you’ll ever meet in person, inside and out.”

In 2022, when Olympic leaders approved men for team events, the U.S. program welcomed him back despite his age. May says coaches told him there was “a 100% chance” he could make the cut.

But at Olympic qualifiers, he says, they used him mostly in acrobatic routines, not in the other two segments — technical and free — that comprise every competition. With only eight swimmers and one alternate going to Paris, he doubted there was room for a specialist.

When the squad was announced, a USA Artistic Swimming executive talked about how “absolutely impressive” May had been and how “close he really did come to making this team.”

Despite the rule change, no team brought a male swimmer to the Games. Not the U.S., not any country.

Four-time world champion Giorgio Minisini — who grew up watching May — announced his retirement after failing to make Italy’s squad. Swimming officials have claimed that men who spent their careers in duets needed a few more years to adjust to team competition.

“I think the artistic swimming community was excited for this new step,” U.S. coach Andrea Fuentes says. “But there has not been enough time for anyone to make it. They have not had enough practice.”